Everything Girl

I’m the first to admit that for a woman who is incredibly driven, at times I struggle what it is I want.

I have these images swirling about in my head… I love my career and rarely feel that it is just a job but I also want to do more with my life. I long for stability and structure, but fear that too much stability will stifle my creativity. I want a fulfilling relationship, yet I don’t want to sacrifice my hard-earned independence.

“… when you surround yourself with images of what it is you want – whether it’s focused on career, family, or something more personal – your life will change to match the images and desires.”

I had signed up for a creative retreat, but at the last minute had to cancel. It was a “mom” thing, and as other moms know, sometimes you have to set aside the things you want for the needs of your family. Instead of whining (too much) about it, though, I decided to move forward with one of projects we’d be working on at the retreat: A Vision Board.

For those of you not familiar with Vision Boards, they are simply a “collage” of images. The idea behind this simple collage is this: when you surround yourself with images of what it is you want – whether it’s focused on career, family, or something more personal – your life will change to match the images and desires. Basically, you skim through magazines, tear out pictures and headlines, then glue them to a poster board. (See Christine Kane’s how-to for the guidelines I used)

Since I was in such a time of flux, I chose to focus on my life as a whole – not one simple facet. I skimmed through a variety of magazines and tore out images that appealed to me. I went with my gut and didn’t allow myself to over analyze why any single image shining back to me from the glossy pages spoke to me – I just ripped out what I liked.

Then I fixed a fresh cup of green tea and sorted through my choices…trimming them tightly around the pictures and words that had appealed to me…and began to place them on my poster board. As I placed, some of the images no longer fit and they ended up in a discard pile. I worked diligently arranging and filling the space, yet it was important to me to leave enough white space around each image so that the images breathed on their own…As I gazed upon my completed project, I was filled with a sense of serenity…and an undercurrent of excitement at how I was able to see what my heart and my soul were desiring.

Images of environment of home were warm and inviting…yet creative spaces, filled with light colors and lots of books. I love my professional life, and the fabulous suit staring back at me is a deep red, conservative in style yet still individual…and let’s not forget the shoes. I love shoes, but every shoe on my cut out are conservative yet colorful pumps. Very reflective of my career and my political leanings – conservative, but yet, still individualistic. There is money, but the bills were folded origami style into hearts, which reminds me that I never want a JOB, I want to do something that I love. There are four images of women on my board. Two of the women are writing and I still believe that my true calling in life is to be a writer. The other two images are of women at their bath, which speaks to me of serenity of soul combined with a sensual spirit.

Travel and my love of it is reflected there in several images. Food is a love of mine, and when I gaze upon the food images I plucked, there was the simplicity of fresh fruit in cream and an exotic image of sushi. The sushi certainly ties me to travel as well as food, as in my experiences, travel is what helped me expand my palate and discover I liked more than meatloaf and mashed potatoes. There is an image of my beloved Washington DC, but the caption on the page reminds me that I love the discovery in my travels: big city trips minus the crowds. I like my ability to blend in…yet I also appreciate the moments when I can stand out in the crowd. I relish my individuality and never want to simply be one of those “sheep”. Traveling has introduced me to that side of my soul. There is also an image of a table for two on the beach. I thought I chose it because of my attraction to traveling, but I think the flip side of that choice reminds me that it’s ok to desire and nurture others. Maybe I’m beginning to heal from my divorce a bit…and my soul is preparing me to share parts of my life with a partner.

“I never expected random images I chose from a variety of magazines to make such a strong statement about my life. I learned about myself, and yes, learned what my truths in life are.”

And let’s not forget the headlines I chose: stop worrying, and start living / respond to life with openness and curiosity / find pleasure in the simplest tasks / let it go / do something that scares you / discover new ways the share the things you love… Wow. What a collection of thoughts…that are a deep part of my being…and provide me with a reminder that I do believe, deep in my soul, that the laws of Karma exist within the world. Moreover, that within my heart and my soul, I want to live a karmically good life….putting out love and discovery to those I know – and don’t know….surrounding myself with creativity, simplicity and pleasure.

I was truly amazed, to be honest. I never expected random images I chose from a variety of magazines to make such a strong statement about my life. I learned about myself, and yes, learned what my truths in life are. That opening myself up to my writing is the right choice. That loving what I do to support myself is the only true path for a fulfilling future. That travel expands my horizons and introduces me to other sides of myself. That structure is good and doesn’t have to kill my creative soul. And that maybe a fulfilling relationship can truly be a partnership and not the sacrifice of my independence….and anyone in my life that wants me to conform to his ideals isn’t the right person for me because I thrive on being individualist.

My vision board is living in my office…the glossy image reflecting back to me as I go about my work day. I can allow the feelings of serenity and the burning desires of excitement that hit me when I looked at the finished board to grow in my heart and plant seeds in my mind.

I’ve been through some really rough spots in life lately. My friends know I got really bitchy and withdrawn for awhile, but I do know that things are going to work out OK. I will find a way to fulfill my wants – and my needs - through living by my beliefs. The exercise of creating a vision board simply reminded me that deep down, my swirling thoughts do have a focus. I can see it as I mediate on my vision board. There is a purpose for me.

I just needed a reminder that the greatest good for my life is not only waiting for me..but is present in everything that I do. It resides within me and I just needed to see it to realize that I have the power to fulfill it…by looking within….

(Photo: Deb Smouse)

Deb Smouse is the Editor in Chief at All Things Girl. She’s is fast approaching 40…and spends her life fulfilling her roles as a consultant, mother, friend, reader, and writer. She doesn’t typically shy away from sharing her opinions and feels that confessions are good for the soul. Find out more about Deb on our About Page.

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