Everything Girl

One of the quotes on my vision board is “Do Something that Scares You,” so last month I did just that. I invested money into the branding of my business and gave a fresh face to the on-line projects that are important to me.

I had professional portraits made.

In the age of digital cameras and the accompanying instant gratification of snapping a photo that can be shared moments later with friends around the world, I chose to take a slower route: I spent time in a real photo studio with a professional photographer. I love casual photos – truly - but I am also a business woman who owns her own company. In recent months, I have come to realize that the image I portray to my clients (or potential clients) is a direct reflection of the success of my business. Though I don’t currently display my photo on my professional site, it doesn’t mean that a Google search of my name doesn’t turn up photos at All Things Girl or on social networking sites. While I love the various photos I use in those places, most of them are casual shots, cropped from other pictures, often of times when I was out with friends. The business part of my world is all about being polished and professional while keeping alive the vibrant, fun, and passionate sides of my personality.

With the help of both research and recommendations, I chose DC-based Julie Woodford as my photographer and she, in turn, helped me find Riley Knoxx to assist me with make-up for my photo shoot. (Though I am comfortable doing my own make-up, I knew that I didn’t have the skill to apply make-up that would stand up to studio lights.) Two hours of studio time and four wardrobe changes led to more than 500 photos. Fortunately, Julie’s assistant narrowed the finished photos down to fewer than 60, and my job was to narrow that down further, to a total of 20 or 30 that would then be edited. Thank goodness for my friends, who volunteered to look at them!

Overall, I was very pleased. The photos were good. Looking at them was harder than I expected, though. Some of the photos didn’t seem to look like me and others seemed to show me in a much better light than I saw myself. I had trouble deciding. I asked the photographer for her thoughts and shared my indecision. She is very wise, and said to me, “I understand the psychology of looking at one’s own photo. It is a strange reflection upon oneself and it’s very common for a lot of people to not accept themselves in a photo even though I or others may love it.” Her words were the push I needed to finally jump in and make my final selection.

The whole experience - and the resulting zip file of 20 hi-res photos of myself - made me think about where I was in my life. If the photos were to be a representation of me as a business woman as well as me as a writer, how did I want others to see me? More importantly, I realized, how do I see myself? I made the investment for the outside world, but by looking at myself from that outside-in view, I gained additional perspective.

How do I see myself? Professionally, I am very content, though I know there is still growth potential in my business. Personally, I feel that there are areas of my life which can be improved upon.

I’ve always believed that if we want to change something about ourselves badly enough, it is completely possible. Of course, there are areas of my life I’d love to improve upon, but there are also core pieces of myself that I have no desire to change. I don’t want to lose my zest for life or the passionate part of my personality. I love that I wake up most mornings willing to start fresh and put the previous day behind me. I want to learn from all my experiences, but never let the harder lessons jade me into believing the worst of others.

I do feel that I have made strides in my journey, one that has been chronicled here for the last four years. I’ve learned to ask myself important questions: Can the experience and the outcome of investing in myself assist me in this journey? Will they guide me toward a better understanding of who I am and what I want?

I look at the photos and I wonder if I know the woman gazing back at me or if I have only scratched the surface of who she is.

(Photo by Julie Woodford)

Deb Smouse is the Editor in Chief at All Things Girl. She’s just edged over the “age forty” line. She spends her life fulfilling her roles as a consultant, mother, friend, reader, and writer. She loves to travel and is building a list of places she wants to visit. Find out more about Deb on our About Page.

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