Everything Girl

They, whoever they are, say that time heals all wounds. And I am here to say, “Right on, sister” even though I don’t normally talk this way. I say this with enthusiasm because, at this intersection of time and space in this thing I call my life, it’s true for me.

In my last column, I lamented over the double-whammy sucker punch of two relationships gone bad. Well, one relationship just went blah and the other went poof, but essentially I was left with the same feeling of lonely despair and doubt in my ability to relate to any human on the planet—other than the crazy guy at Whole Foods who always wants me to listen to banjo-driven Deliverance-esque blue grass on his grungy ipod—but that’s another story all together. No, I figured that if I couldn’t make a go of it with the nice guy, nor the sexy but likely bipolar whacked-out artist guy, what other choices were left for me?

So, in the aftermath of that “growth experience” I decided to give myself a little gift: the gift of me. Alone time, time for reflection—the one thing I really craved when I set out to separate the messy strands that hold together, whether tightly or tenuously, a 7-year relationship. Since giving myself the gift of time and taking back my broken but beautiful self, I am doing just fine, thank you. And I mean fine as in great, not fine as in 5 on a scale of 1 to 10.

I am happy, elated really, to be on my own and to have my creative energy available for nurturing my dreams and goals rather than used to prop up some faux-mate’s flagging ego that is in constant need of reassurance. Happy that I can make plans for my day, week, life and not feel constrained by someone who may be challenged by my ambitions or achievements. It’s nice not to feel compelled to dumb-down my existence just so that the person I am involved with doesn’t feel threatened. Yes, I know I did that of my own free will, but that was before I felt I could ask for more in a life partner.

“This gift of time and aloneness, this solitary, not-coupled, not lonely aloneness has been the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.”

This gift of time and aloneness, this solitary, not-coupled, not lonely aloneness has been the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. In fact, this gift has allowed me to become the best version of Shanna that I have ever been. The new and improved me. Shanna 2.0. And, as is common with new releases, all the bugs and glitches aren’t completely worked out yet, but this is a much-improved edition over the previous Shanna 1.0.

In this version, Shanna 2.0 comes equipped with a dose of healthy self-esteem and less tendency to crash into an emotion- and drama-filled puddle. In fact, Shanna 2.0 has virus protection against drama, bad dates, and other toxic maladies that threaten her stable operating environment. And while the creation of this version wasn’t free or easy, it was definitely worth all the research and development that went into this upgrade.

So, I may waver, I even go into occasional cyber-moping as I ever-so-rarely scan the profiles, updates, and theirspaces of those whom I once shared intimate thoughts and dreams. And, as I write this tonight, yeah, I am a little blue and a little lonely, but hell, this woman is all right. This woman is going to make it. This woman is Shanna 2.0

Shanna Trenholm is a writer, animal lover, eater of dark chocolate, and teller of truths. She finds inspiration in the ordinary; magic in the mundane. She likes to take baths and naps (in that order). Send her some bubble bath here: www.shannatrenholm.com

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