Everything Girl

Two months before marrying the man of my dreams, I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. We’d just moved from Manhattan to the Boston area and I’d decided to use that opportunity to change careers. By my fourth day in my new job as a technical recruiter, it was clear that I wasn’t going to survive. I wanted to run away, to leave everything behind rather than face what I perceived as failure.

Moving from computer programming to technical recruiting had seemed like a natural evolution to me. I’d convinced myself that I’d have an edge over other recruiters because I’d actually done some of the jobs I’d be trying to fill. I could talk to the hiring managers about the challenges of coding from bad requirements and troubleshooting defects. I could coach clients on how to ace interviews. I’d be queen of the world!

Like many recruiters, I was working on a draw. What that means is if you don’t have any commissions coming in from successful job placements, you are paid from your future, not-yet-earned commissions. It helps ensure that the rent gets paid and the student loans don’t go delinquent.

Working on a draw was like walking around with a huge anvil over my head engraved with the amount payable to the recruiting company if I left without the commission to pay it back. Talk about a really, really bad concussion waiting to happen.

In my mind, every cold call I made that didn’t result in a lead just edged me closer to financial ruin. The day before I was to collect my first draw check I decided to quit. I felt like a failure; embarrassed that I’d made such a big mistake.

Fast forward fourteen years, and I’m happily married to the man who’d supported me through that difficult time. We raise two daughters who teach us something new every day. Thankfully, I now have a job that suits me very well. My career has had its up’s and down’s – luckily more of the former. I’ve had bosses I’ve loved and some not so much. I’ve had clients who were my friends and some not so much. I’ve hired, fired, managed, directed, VP’ed, and VPN’ed. Yes, I’ve been busy.

Looking back on my very short stint as a technical recruiter, I feel I would have suffered a lot less if I’d been kinder to myself, had appreciated that balance isn’t just for yoga, and had believed that no matter how much I messed up that I’d still be loved. But I didn’t know that back when I was twenty-four and on the verge of changing my life in so many different and important ways. Now I do.

In this column, my intention is to share my experiences, thoughts, and advice regarding women in business with the goal of helping those facing similar fears, successes, apprehensions, and life challenges. Maybe I can spare you your version of four days of cold calls with an anvil over your head. Maybe I can get you thinking about a new way to approach a problem that’s keeping you up at night. I’ll tell stories, answer questions you send in, and occasionally post book or gadget reviews (I’m proudly a geek at heart.). Please share your feedback, your challenges, and your ideas. If something here helps you get closer to achieving your definition of success, consider helping a fellow woman reach for hers.

Elia Sheldon is a working mother of two daughters who lives in Chatham, NJ and manages large scale programs for a Fortune 50 company. She enjoys time with her family, working on her novel, and attending hot yoga classes. Her column focuses on providing ideas, thoughts, and advice to help demystify the corporate jungle and achieve better work life balance. Need advice? Send questions to: elia@eliasheldon.com.

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