Everything Girl

Do you have that little voice in your head? You know the one that tells you that you’re crazy for dreaming big, or even worse, for plotting a path to achieve those dreams.

Sometimes the voice sounds a lot like your co-worker. It tells you that there is no point in you going for that big promotion. They’re just going to give it to some brown-noser anyway.

Or like your mother telling you that you’ll never get married if you keep eating second servings, working so hard, or (fill in the blank).

Maybe the voice sounds like your sister or long-time friend telling you that all men are dogs and that your latest prospect is no different, so why bother.

Perhaps the voice is husky and persistent, like your significant other telling you that it is too late for you to go back to school.

Or maybe the voice sounds a lot like your own. Shaky. Filled with fear. Lacking confidence. It tells you that dreaming big simply means setting yourself up for a big disappointment. That not everyone is meant to make a difference in the world; be a CEO; find the love of their life; own a successful business; be a published author; be a mother or whatever it is that represents dreaming big to you.

Whether the voice emanates from deep within or merely echoes the voice of a well-meaning co-worker, friend, or family member it has just one goal. To rain on our collective parade.

Pessimism and negativity spread quickly. Like a California brush fire when the hot Santa Ana winds are blowing. It engulfs us in its insidious flames and chokes the air, joy, and hope from our lungs before we have the slightest clue of what is happening.

“It was the first time that I realized that I was a Parade Rainer. And that my most frequent victim was… ME.”

“I’m not a pessimist. I am a realist.” That is what every “Parade Rainer” will tell you when you confront them. And to a degree they are right. When we have a negative view of our future, it will usually become our reality. Our every action has led to the very outcome that we’ve predicted.

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.”

The first time I heard this quote I really stopped to think about my own attitude. It was the first time that I realized that I was a Parade Rainer. And that my most frequent victim was… ME.

I was happy to be a cheerleader for everyone else. I would encourage them. Tell them that they could achieve their goals. And I’d be right there to support them. So why couldn’t I do the same for me?

I’m scared to do this. I can’t do that. No-one would take me seriously. Who would want to read this? My inner voice would often say.

And just like that I’d be sucked into the black hole of pessimism and self-doubt. I’d shipwrecked my vessel before I’d even untied it from the dock.

So, I made a conscious effort to change my thinking. To squelch my self-doubt. To allow myself to dream BIG. I discovered that positive thinking wasn’t a “new age gimmick.” It is truly effective.

Visualizing my success and the achievement of my goals prompts me to pour my energy and efforts into achieving them. It has certainly gotten me a lot further than the ‘poor me’ victim mentality that I’d once perfected. I now consider every situation – whether bad or good – to be a learning experience. Each one teaches me a little bit more about myself, about the world, and about what I must do to achieve my goals.

I want to support the dreams and aspirations of the people that I love. I just needed to realize that it had to start with me. I surround myself with reminders to do just that. I encourage it in the people I love. In everyone whose life I touch.

W. Clement Stone said, “Aim for the moon. If you miss you may hit a star.” That sounds good to me. So, stop raining on my parade.

Samara Leigh is a Northeast Ohio-based writer, entrepreneur and 30-Something Rebel. She is the owner of a copywriting and virtual support services firm focused on supporting the needs of creative professionals. She also teaches entrepreneurs and independent creative professionals to incorporate low-cost and no-cost technologies into their small businesses.

Share This Article »