Everything Girl

I first met singer-songwriter Phil Ayoub (pronounced A-yoob) when I profiled him for an entertainment magazine and I was impressed from the very beginning with his general nice-guyness. He is a deep-thinking, deep-feeling, quintessential all American boy from Boston and in that way he is both charming and very attractive. Phil has an MBA from Boston College that he turned into a very lucrative job at a large investment firm but music was where his heart lie and in 2004 he walked away from that to pursue his music career full time.

He released his début solo album Schoolbus Window Paper Heart, produced by Tim Bradshaw, long time keyboard and guitar player for David Gray. Together they created a warm, apple pie and cold beer album with strong American music influences from Ayoub and the Brit Rock influences of Bradshaw. It is a beautiful, deep, sometimes funny, soothing album filled with acoustic guitar, jangely synth and emotive, insightful lyrics.

Phil has an extraordinary ability to paint a clear, poignant picture in song and coupled with his love of pure natural music Schoolbus Window Paper Heart.

Phil is a funny, sarcastic but charismatic and urbane man, relaxed and friendly, he is a joy to chat with and interview.

You write all your own songs, and they are all quiet romantic. They mostly seem to revolve around love or a broken heart.

Well I don’t know about a broken heart per se but I definitely feel that I write most comfortably about interpersonal relationships. I’ve actually kind of grappled with this a little myself, as to whether I write about this stuff because I think there is truth in there somewhere, or there’s not truth. What I mean by that is maybe they’re interesting to me because in a lot of personal relationships there is no black and white, there is no truth. I think it’s an interesting exploration.

They are just things that have impacted my life the most, more so than politics or anything like that. It’s just been the most interesting to me to write about, and also I’ve been able to learn things about myself by writing those types of songs. I’ve started tons of songs that I thought were about someone else then I get either half way through or just about finished and I realise they’re about me.

How do you feel about love?

It’s an interesting time for you to ask me that question. I say that because I feel like I have experienced it in the past and still cling to an idealist view of it, but as you get older it’s harder and harder to keep that ideal. And I do wonder from time to time if you can feel love now like felt it when you were in your early twenties, mid-twenties. I sometimes wonder if I can still feel that strongly now, after going through a lot of the things I have been through.

Do you think it would be the strength of your love that has diminished as in the ability to feel overwhelming love, or just the type of love? When you’re younger you feel a much more innocent, pure almost hero-worship type love for someone. As you get older you are much more realistic and have a much more grounded love for someone.

I’ll tell you what I’ve found. I’ve found that over the years as I’ve been in different relationships and dated, I’ve built-up things that I don’t like in a partner. You know, whether it’s a couple of things about this person that annoyed you, and then you go on to another relationship and you may see some of those same things. For me, I fight with turning myself off when I see those qualities… I’m not explaining myself well here. I think I’ve built-up some things that I consider red flags and I shouldn’t. It does make things a little bit difficult. I feel like they travel with me from relationship to relationship and I don’t like that. It definitely takes me longer to let my guard down than it used too.

What are you looking for in a romantic partner?

First of all I – this is going to sound weird but – I want a woman who goes both ways. It’s not what your thinking. (laughing)

All men want that sweetie! (laughing)

No, I mean, I like to go out to a nice place and be a little classy and dress-up; and I also like to go to a dive bar and watch live music and drink beer. It’s very important to me that whoever I’m with enjoys both as well. I’ve met people like that and I’ve also met people who can only do one and not the other. That’s important to me, someone who is comfortable in both kinds of areas. Um, what else? Can we come back to this question? (laughs)

Sure. So you meet this beautiful amazing woman who has all these qualities how do you approach her and where do you take her on your first date?

This is definitely a two part question. The first part is the hardest part for me. The truth is I’m very bad at approaching women. I feel comfortable in a group situation, I feel comfortable if I meet somebody who is a friend of a friend. But for me to go up to somebody, out of the blue, and talk to somebody there would have to be a lot of Tequila or Vodka or something like that.

So you’re shy.

Yeah. To be honest with you I thought it would be one of the benefits of music.

(laughing) You thought women would throw themselves at you?

(laughs) I did think, when I signed that imaginary Rock Star contract, I thought it would solve all the meeting women issues that I had one way or the other. I figured that was never going to be a problem for me in my life. Not necessarily that I was going to meet and date a ton of women but more like meet more and various women.

First date. I have no standard first date. I do generally try to steer away from music stuff, I would rather do something that… well it can be distracting.

Are you ready for the what you look for in a woman question? What do you look for in a woman? What qualities are important to you?

She has to have an important understanding of family. Whether or not she has a close family, or a good relationship at home. I do, so I respect someone else who has a close relationship with family and I would want her to do the same for me. This is a tough question. Maybe because I don’t care I would take anyone right now. (laughs)

I guess I find that most of the women that I really like, I can’t always explain why I really like them. I think that’s a good thing.

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If you would like to learn more about Phil or hear his music you can visit his Phil’s website or visit his MySpace space.

A.L. Harper is a freelance writer and motorbike fanatic originally from Salt Lake City, Utah but now living in Scotland. In edition to being the Managing Editor for All Things Girl, A.L. is the Assistant Music Editor for Blogcritics.org and a freelance writer for hire.

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