Thea’s Decision by Jean Gillespie
As soon as Thea reached the park gates she bent down and snapped the leash on Mac’s collar. A fine rain had started to fall. Smirr her Scottish mother called it. Thea smiled to herself as she thought of her mother’s row of raincoats hanging neatly in a row in the back hall. She had one for each type of rain and could never understand the smiles and comments the rack of coats evoked from her children.
“Stop laughing at your mum,” Dad would warn. But he always said it with a wink at his two daughters. “If the old girl’s going to turn eccentric on us, it might as well be over coats. Nothing dangerous in that.”
Thea smiled, remembering her father’s voice with its soft Highland lilt. They’d buried him yesterday morning. Only sixty-five. An early call. “Much too early,” sighed Thea. He’d suffered a massive heart attack four days ago. He was gone before Thea’s flight from L.A. landed in Roanoke. Thea had been close to her dad. At least, that’s what she’d always believed. But, last night, over one last cup of tea before bed, her mother had looked at her and said, “You know, Thea, your father went to his grave knowing you didn’t love him.”
Thea was speechless. Her mother had a look of hatred in her eyes as she continued. “After you moved out west, you rarely came home. It broke your father’s heart. That’s probably what took him in the end. And after all he did for you.”
Thea thought it must be the grief speaking, so she refrained from defending herself. But her mother continued. “Your father worked like a dog to educate you. Wanted you to be the first in the family to graduate from college. I told him he was daft, that you’d be ashamed of us after you graduated. But he wouldn’t listen. You left town two weeks after you got your degree. Two weeks was all you gave us. Sending you to college was the dumbest thing he ever did.”
“I had to go to L.A. for my job. I thought you were happy for me. When I hesitated about going, Dad told me to go as fast as I could. ‘You’ve got to go where the work is, lassie.’ That’s exactly what he said.”
“But you’ve never been the same since, Thea. You always act as if your job’s more important than your family.”
Go easy, Thea said to herself. The woman’s just lost her husband of forty years. She took a deep breath before she asked, “Do you want me to apologize for enjoying my work, Mum?”
“That’s not natural, Thea. You’re not supposed to love your job. Look at Elspeth. She hates her job.”
“Then why doesn’t she get another one? She’s certainly got the qualifications.”
“It’s not that easy, Thea. She’s got a great wage, and she shares it,” said her mother , sweeping her hand around the well furnished living room.
Here we go, sighed Thea. And she was right. Her mother rattled off the list of sacrificial gifts Elspeth had bestowed on the family as she pointed to each one: the velvet couch and matching chairs covered in plastic, the wall-to-wall carpet, the replacement windows.
“But she lives at home, Mum. Do you have any idea what my apartment in L.A. costs? I’m only a teacher. It takes every penny I earn to make ends meet.”
“Then teach back here.”
“But there’s not the same call for ESL teachers here.”
“But you’d have more in your pocket if you lived in West Virginia.”
“Your mean more to buy you presents? That’s ridiculous,” snapped Thea.
“Well, at least we’d get to see more of you.”
Thea was brought back to reality by Mac tugging on the leash. She’d been walking too slowly for the little dog’s liking, so she bent down to turn him loose. Thea smiled as he ran on ahead. Even he was wearing a special little coat for the smirr. Thea picked up her pace and followed the dog. She loved this park and the rolling hills surrounding her hometown, but her home was in L.A. now. She loved her job in one of the country’s foremost English language schools on the outskirts of the city. Her mother interpreted her enthusiasm for both her job and California as a sign of disrespect for West Virginia and the family. But Thea knew the worst was yet to come. She’d accepted a promotion as an international recruiter. From now on she’d be spending a lot of time abroad.
“You’re perfect for the position, Thea. Please take it. Don’t turn us down,” her supervisor had practically begged her. Thea signed her contract immediately, but with a knot in her stomach and a frown on her face.
“What’s wrong, Thea? You don’t look very happy,”
“It’s nothing,” laughed Thea. “Probably just new job jitters.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell a stranger that her parents and sister would consider her new position a slap in the face to them. She planned to phone them that evening with the news, then learn to live with their animosity. But the message telling her about her father’s heart attack was waiting for her when she arrived home.
When she reached the back gate of the park, Mac was sitting waiting for her. As she bent down to snap on his leash, she looked the little dog straight in the eye and said, “We’ll tell them tonight, Mac, right?” As if he understood, the dog wagged his tale vigorously. Thea knew it was tonight or never. She was scheduled to fly to Bangkok in only three days. She sighed. It would have been so much easier to break her news to the family with her father there.
“I can’t believe you’d even think of going back to L.A. so soon after Dad’s death,” Elspeth screamed at Thea. “Your place is here with mother for at least two more weeks.”
“Be reasonable, Elspeth. If I want this promotion, I’ve got to fly back to L.A. tomorrow.”
“Must be a great job if you can’t get a few days bereavement leave for your father’s death.”
“The point is, Elspeth, that I have to be on the plane for Bangkok on Friday or the job will go to someone else. I can’t pass it up. Dad’s not coming back. What purpose would it serve to stay here?”
“What purpose would it serve?” repeated her mother. “If you have to ask yourself that question, you’re no use to Elspeth and me. You’re no daughter of mine, Thea. Away you go. And the sooner the better as far as we’re concerned. Right, Elspeth?”
Elspeth didn’t answer. But the look she drew Thea spoke a thousand words.
Breakfast the next morning was a dismal affair. Cathy , a cousin on her father’s side, had agreed to drive Thea to the Roanoke Airport. Her mother and Elspeth kissed her goodbye without emotion. They didn’t even wave goodbye as the car pulled
away from the curb.
“Out with it, Thea,” said Cathy. “What’s their problem this time?”
“Same old thing. My job. What else?”
“Well, I think it’s great. You’d better bring me a souvenir from Bangkok.”
“Of course I will, Cathy. You have always been such a ray of sunshine in my life.”
“Someone had to be with those two harpies on your shoulders all the time. It was always you and your dad against your mum and Elspeth.”
“Do you remember the time we went to France with the school over the Easter holidays, Cathy?”
“How could I forget it? It’s still one of the highlights of my uneventful life.”
“Promise not to laugh if I tell you that I still have a guilty conscience about it after all these years?”
“I promise. But what do you have to feel guilty about?”
“Just about going on the trip. Mum said I showed disrespect for her by going away at Easter. Maybe she’s right about me always thinking only of myself.”
“You stop that line of thinking right now, Thea MacDonald, or I’ll stop the car and throw you out right in the middle of the highway. Understand?”
“Aye, Aye, sir. But you’ve got to admit that I have always been a thorn in Mum’s side. She throws you up to me all the time just because you never left here.”
“That’s only because Tommy went into practice with his dad when he qualified. He’d always wanted to be a country doctor. We had no reason to leave. You did, so stop feeling guilty. You‘re getting no sympathy from me, young lady.”
“You’re right, as usual, Cathy. But will you do me a favor?”
“Just name it.”
“Keep an eye on Mum and Elspeth. I can‘t help it. They make me feel so guilty about being happy.”
“They’ll never change. They’d find fault even if you moved back here. Face it. They’re miserable people, and you’re happy like your dad. You’re a MacDonald. Don’t ever change.”
When the car pulled up at the international departure area, Thea turned to Cathy and started to cry.
“What’s the matter, Thea? I thought you were the iron maiden.”
“Apparently not,” said Thea dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. “I just can’t stop wondering if I’ve made the right decision about the new job.”
“Get out of this car before I really do throw you out,” said Cathy. “Go on. Out. That’s an order. I’ll handle your mother and Elspeth. One life sacrificed on the altar of respect for one‘s family is quite enough.”
“Thanks, Cathy.”
“Thea,” Cathy called out the car window before Thea disappeared into the departure terminal. “ You made the right decision. Always remember that we’re not long livers in our family, so enjoy!”
“Who told you that?”
“Your dad.”
Thea didn’t answer. She hurried into the terminal and headed towards the check -in counter to get her boarding pass. She felt as if a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Cathy was right. She had made the right decision.
Mystery writer Jean Gillespie alternates the settings of her novels between her current home in northern West Virginia and her native Scotland. Her first novel, A DEATH ON FACULTY ROW is set in West Virginia while SECRETS OF THE POWMILLON, takes place in a fictionalized version of her Scottish hometown. She is currently hard at work on her second West Virginia novel, THE SCHOOL ON THE HILL. Jean is also an avid short story writer. She lives outside Wheeling, West Virginia with her husband, Frank, a retired college administrator, and Angus, a Scottish deerhound which she fondly refers to as the great hairy beast. Four adult children have fled the nest and live in terror of being mentioned in their mother’s literary endeavors. Website: www.jeangillespie.info
